Do you live in reality? Many of us don’t.
Instead, we construct a version of reality based on our perceptions, wants, and needs.
Think of the high school football star who peaked early, and yet relives the “glory days.” A legend in his own mind.
Think of the employee who blames his boss for his own failures. Always the victim, never the problem.
Think of the slighted lover who suffered a terrible breakup, but vilifies her ex, denying her role in it all, just so she can cope.
And that’s just it - creating our own reality is a coping mechanism.
But what happens when someone tells you the truth?
Your world crumbles.
Your perception of reality shifts dramatically, destabilizing you severely. Such disruption can destroy a person.
A sudden burst of truth is an unbearable onslaught.
A harsh rebuke, unexpected.
A breakup.
A betrayal.
Direct feedback.
Getting fired.
Therapy.
So, what do you do?
You might respond by lashing out in anger.
You might retreat inward, shielding yourself from the emotional onslaught.
You could self-medicate to dull the sharp pain of this new reality.
Or, you might brace yourself and resolve to contend with reality.
The more you avoid facing reality, the more pain you store up for yourself and others.
So accept it. Embrace the truth. It is what it is.
Push back against the suffering and resolve to gain wisdom. Wisdom to avoid hiding from the truth. Wisdom to admit and address blind spots.
Wisdom, above all, to refuse to be attached to anything, especially your interpretation of reality.
Attachment will only lead to disappointment and suffering, and you will never have peace.
Reality, relationships, the fabric of life, being itself, they’re all in constant flux.
So keep your mind open.
True peace can only come when we are free from attachment.
Once you accept reality, as it is, then you can accept peace.
Dropping attachment requires tremendous courage.
Brace yourself. Open your eyes. Let go. And accept.
Keeping in mind that reality is multi-layered and may lead to experience and self-perception that is not so dire.
It’s good to hear from you again