I decided to share an essay that I wrote last year, in honor of the passing of my grandfather, Lt. Col. Jim Tefft. My grandfather taught me many things, most of them indirectly. His life serves as a reminder that we are all living examples to the people around us, especially those that look up to us. Your life is a beacon to others. So what do you exemplify? What do you stand for? If people were to follow you, would they be led to goodness and light or darkness and destruction? Ideally, your beacon is what others admire in you. When your time on Earth is done, your beacon is your legacy.
The day Grandpa Tefft passed away was the last day I saw him. I wish I had known that day with him would be my last. I don’t know what I would have done differently. Only that I would.
My Grandpa taught me to love my community, but not by direct instruction. Instead, he encouraged this love by the way he lived. Grandpa served our country as a pilot in the United States Air Force. He served during peace and war, a veteran of the Vietnam War. He retired as a Lieutenant Colonel and moved to the private sector, continuing to serve America. He became intricately involved in the development of the shuttle program at Vandenberg Air Force Base (though the project was scuttled after the Challenger tragedy in ’85).
Even in retirement, Grandpa kept working. He devoted himself to his community, the city of Nipomo, California. The main street in Nipomo is Tefft Street. He was notoriously proud of this. He once told me how hard he had worked on a project to get curbs and sidewalks placed along Tefft Street. “OK, big deal Grandpa,” I thought. As an adult, I know now how much work it is to do things that seem simple. For decades, he would dress as Santa (he looked just like him, beard, belly, and disposition) and ride in a sleigh in the Nipomo Christmas parade. The floats travel along Tefft Street with Santa and his sleigh as the centerpiece, celebrating sweet community and holiday spirit.
Grandpa was devoted to his church, serving in leadership alongside my Grandma for over 30 years. When their church struggled financially, Grandpa negotiated deals with cell service providers to install towers inside the steeple, creating income. He rarely spoke of accomplishments, instead choosing to quietly serve. If ever I’ve encountered true humility, it was in his character and no other. No man had more right to boast than he did, and no man behaved with more humility that him.
Grandpa was incredibly devoted to his large family. My grandparents’ home was the center of every holiday, where they served amazing feasts. Astonishingly, many of us are not related to Grandpa by blood, including me. He adopted my father. Though I am not related to most of my family, we share Grandpa’s name and he loved us all unconditionally and with generosity.
My dad called me and let me know that Grandpa was hurt and in the hospital. He had fallen and hurt his leg. Dad didn’t seem too worried. None of us were, even though that fall would be what killed him. I didn’t know his injury was so bad. I thought he was just having a slow recovery. Truthfully, I almost didn’t visit him; but, something deep inside me said “Go,” so me, my wife, and our three children went to see him. Ever the jokester, he tried to show our boys his wound. The nurse, horrified, managed to stop him. It must have been pretty bad. He got to meet our daughter for the first time. We didn’t know it would be the only time. Before we said goodbye, I held his hand (the only time I can remember holding his hand) and we prayed with him as a family. These would be our last words together. We got the call later that night. Apart from the night nurse, we were the last people he saw before he passed.
In honor of Jim Tefft, my Grandpa, and his life of service, his beloved City of Nipomo holds a parade on Independence Day. They decorate his Santa sleigh for the 4th of July now (instead of Christmas) and some of the kids in the family get to ride in it as he once did. As the parade moves down Tefft Street, I see those curbs and sidewalks he worked so hard for, where the crowds are now standing and waving flags, cheering and celebrating this man who loved them and served them.
What kind of man must you be to receive a parade after you pass away? It seems obvious: a man who loves his community. Communities are made of families. Families are made of people. To love and serve our community is to love and serve our families, neighbors, friends, churches, and co-workers. It is our highest calling and greatest honor. As it turns out, our love, service, and devotion become our legacy.
As far as I can tell, this is the key to just about everything: Give your life to others.
My Grandpa taught me that true love is expressed in loving my neighbor. He taught me to take pride in service because we are blessed to live in a country where sacrifice, honor, and love are rewarded with dignity and community pride. We don’t serve to “merely” build curbs and sidewalks. We serve to build legacy. To love and cherish our communities is what builds and strengthens our culture. Who will stand on what you have built, cheering in celebration?
I want my legacy to be like his. I don’t need a parade, though. Just want to make a difference in a few lives along the way.
You can see the parade and more about my Grandpa Tefft by clicking below. Thanks for reading ❤️
He really was the best man... “salt of the earth”, humble, kind & really the best father in law there ever was ❤️
Joel, you are fortunate to have been touched by such an amazing man!